JESUS IS A PERVERT!
I don't know why Jesus wants to watch me spank it, I would think with his connections he could do a lot better like maybe a Christina Alguilera or a Marisa Tormey but I don't know maybe that's just the way Jesus swings. So what am I doing in Farmington, NM
besides watching tweeked out indians beat the shit out of drunk rednecks? Well my girlfriend scraped me off her shoe, so I decided it was time to hit the road just took what ever shit gigs came down the pike and two days later I'm in New Mexico wishing for Peyote. Having my heart run over like a speed bump made me realize something about myself, I suck at faking it. I'm not good at pretending to dig shit I don't care about and it's become a major detriment to me both personally and financially. I don't know how to suck a club owners dick right, do the whole "Meet and greet" pretend that your bowling alley lounge in nowhere Idaho is the greatest gig I've ever had. As near as I can tell my girlfriend dumped me again because I think March of the Penguins is a stupid fuck'n movie. My friend Eric explained to me that pretending to be interested in things that you're not is important in a relationship, it's just like when a woman swallows. However it occurs to me that I've spent a Hell of a lot of time on my knees slurp'n snot in every relationship I've ever had, THAT'S RIGHT LADIES! You know what makes a vagina slimy...MUCUS! THAT'S RIGHT! Guys lick boogers, women get protein shakes and that's just the way it breaks down. So I don't see any reason why I should have to pretend that Morgan Freedman talk'n about a bunch birds waddling around on the ice for an hour and a half was a brilliant fuck'n movie. And that's why I'm jerk'n off again. See you out on the trail...